Love Notes & Mementos

Clarity

Can’t focus. Everything is a blur. Sparks of colour dance around me. Sky and clouds intermingle into beautiful streaks of white and blue.

Dizzy. Spinning in circles; never-ending circles. Thoughts twisting and twirling as the world surrounds me in entropy.

You put your arms around me.

Everything becomes still.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win

Gandhi wasn’t perfect, but he was a symbol of freedom and revolution.

When we think about racism, majority of us can instantly acknowledge it is wrong. Yet, before the civil-rights movement, racism ran rampant. Remember slavery? We know it is wrong, but back then the status quo believed it was right. People were subject to cruelty and treated like property because of the color of their skin. It sounds absolutely ludicrous now doesn’t it?

Yes, we have moved on as a society and learned from our past mistakes (hopefully). But… when will we learn that we are not perfect—that we, as human beings, are inherently flawed.

We weren’t perfect then, and we aren’t now. 

How can we continue to instill those same principles and prejudices today? Why are there still penalties for Gay marriage? Why are there still states in the USA that do not allow two people who love each other to get married? If in the late 1960s US law was able to recognize that race was not a hindrance on marriage, why haven’t all the state laws, even laws around the world, accepted the same for same sex marriage? Why can’t we realize that we are all just people? You cannot put a price on a human being, no one is better than the next. We are one species, why are we treating each other this way?

We commit crimes in the name of our “God.” Is this “God”—is religion—just an excuse to treat other people like dirt? Have we, as society, lost our ability to think for ourselves? Have we ever had this ability to begin with?

How can we just look the other way when history says otherwise? The evidence is right there.

We blindly follow the status quo and assume it’s right because “everyone else is doing it.”

Sometimes it feels like we’ve reached an impasse. A state of stagnancy. 

But there is hope yet. Those who rise above and stand against it. They get ridiculed and abused for being “rebels”.

Those rebels become heroes and that rebellion becomes freedom in the future.

I think we all need to remember that just because everyone else is doing it, it does not mean it is the right thing to do. 

If we do not fight for the truth, then who will? It takes a lot of courage to go up against the status quo, but once you are there you become a catalyst for change. And isn’t change worth more than acceptance?

It might be hard to see it when you are surrounded by ignorance, but once your eyes are open, it cannot be unseen.

Cover Up

Sheets soaked with tears; little to be said for pain

Slowly spreading like toxin in our veins

Liven it up

Spray some perfume over the insidious scent of the rotten corpses

They reek of ignorance and self inflicted torture.

You are Real

Alone in a crowd, crooked feet, fabricated smile. They all throw dirt at you. They all abandon you. Isolate you.

You’re different than the rest—you’re beautiful.

In your endless search for the truth, you walk along this desolate wasteland, captured in a sea of grey. The rare burst of color livens up your monochromatic world.

You compare your infallible memories to the present moment—revel in your unfading darkness.

I admire your unfettering love for the genuine, the honest, the true. You refuse to look at the world through colored lenses. Intricate illusions have a way of deluding the mind. Where do you draw the line between what’s real and what’s fabricated?

You are real.

I’ll be with you every step of the way. I won’t abandon you or judge you. I’m here, love.

Your world is not a delusion. It is real.

And I want to be a part of it.

We pour our hearts into these love addictions, our afflictions, our fear of pain and losing the game. We give in to the pleasure, the highs, because it’s too hard to face the pain. The lies we tell ourselves to push ourselves forward, committing self-deceit in the name of love. A love that whines and cries at any trace of adversity. No one knows who they are. They know who they were, and who they want to be. Since the present is fluid, moving and ever-changing we cannot know what will happen, we can only guess. We become skilled at guessing, masters of predictability. However, we cannot forget the element of surprise. We possess the ability to surprise others, to surprise ourselves. Our guesses are not always correct, but we take the chance. If we never take the chance we won’t get anywhere.

Slaves

We are slaves to the working world. We wake up in the morning, go to another boring day at our office jobs, go home, fuck our spouse without looking them in the eyes, then go to bed unsatisfied and miserable. The next day we wake up and repeat this process. Once a week we treat ourselves to a hyper-consumerist filled day and buy things until we get an artificial high unattainable by the boring sex we have at home. We watch the hip teenagers and 20 somethings as they parade around with their perfect faces and sculpted bodies. Their sculpted bodies… We live in dreams of the past—when we had the future ahead of us—when everything looked so promising. Back when all there was to do was party and get laid. Now it’s all gone. We sit on our perfect, modern leather couches, in our perfect, professionally designed houses and just wait for something interesting to happen. But it never does. We finish the wine in our cellar and go to bed a drunken sob. We repeat this cycle until one day we snap.

How long until you snap?

We are the Living Dead

I’m wandering through life like everyone else, and it’s easy to get lost on the way. But what if we are meant to get lost? What if we weren’t meant to follow the path that was laid out for us, as comfortable as it is. What if we were meant to go through the long winding forests, cross the vast oceans, and face the beasts ourselves. Living in fear won’t ever give us what we want. We all just want to “succeed”—that term is so relative. Happiness is relative. Why are we all striving for happiness when it is impossible to always be happy? As humans we feel. This means we feel happiness, sadness, anger, love, hate and a variety of other things we don’t always have names for. If we let go of our ability to feel, we become numb. I want to make my own path and feel everything there is to feel as a human. This is the only way. Why do we call it life if we aren’t prepared to live? I refuse to be the walking dead. I want to live.

Booty Call

We’ve cuddled, fallen asleep in each others’ arms, declared our love for each other time and time again. We complete each other, make each other happy, yadda yadda, but I’ll be straight with you. Stop wasting time. I don’t want to be wined and dined.

I want you bad and I want you now. 

So what are you waiting for?

Double Entendre

No.

It’s forbidden. 

It’s wrong.

But—but somehow you keep appearing. You’re reaching out to me. Showing me a part of yourself that exists to no one else.

Stop showing me who you are. 

I keep sinking deeper and deeper despite my warning. My heart weeps for you, longs for you, yearns for you. I can’t wash the guilt from my fingertips. I can’t remove that pit in my stomach. I’m afraid. What am I going to do when I see you?

It’s…

My intuition is never wrong. Watch out. We are treading treacherous grounds here. If you fall too deep, it becomes nearly impossible to get out.

Heed my warning now while you can.

This is your one chance to get away—or you’ll be trapped like me. Locked up by love.

Sonnet I

It’s not unusual to find us here;

Sparks afly, sprawled across this bed

The weight; the gradual pull of lead

In water. There’s nothing to fear,

We will sink together dear

For you and I it cannot be said

Till we are found together; happy, dead

And who but us will shed a tear?

The pain will not fade away,

My attempts made in vain—

Memories torture, bring tears throughout the day;

The heart lost, but had all to gain,

Free in your embrace I will stay

Because true love cannot be feigned